Ughhhh nooooo!
Come on. Don’t play this game.
If I just ignore it, it will go away…
Ha ha. Very funny. It’s time. Stop pretending.
I’m not doing it. I’m not. I won’t. You can’t make me.
Come on, Mandi. Just get up.
No. Not happening.
Maybe if you move your toes around, you’ll wake up. Don’t lie still! Keep moving!
I’m moving them. It’s not working.
You can’t go still! You’ll fall asleep again and miss everything!!!
Ugh fine. I’ll keep moving. But it’s not doing anything.
If you get up now, you can braid your hair!
Too bad. I have to sleep. I’m not getting up.
Mandi, please. Don’t do this again today. Just get up already. Stop messing around.
Go away. I don’t care.
UP! GET UP! NOW!
MAKE ME!!!!!
GET UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mandi, maybe you should get up and go to the bathroom.
Nah. It’s fine.
If you don’t go now, you’ll only need to go more later…
Oh well. It’s not important.
If you get up, you’ll be able to grab that paper you wanted half an hour ago…
Eh… Yeah, but I don’t really want it all that much.
Mandi! Just get up and go to the bathroom! You NEED to go!
I’m busy. Quit bothering me.
You’re not taking care of yourself. Get. Up.
I’m FINALLY being productive for once today. I’m not stopping for ANYTHING.
JUST GET UP ALREADY!!
UGH FINE!!!
Pssst… Maybe you should grab something to eat… I’m a little hungry…
Deal with it. It’s not that bad.
But wouldn’t a granola bar be delicious?
Not really. I don’t feel like getting up.
What about an apple?
Great, but I’m not gonna go get it.
If you get up now, you can also take a bathroom break! You need one!
I just went. I just had lunch. I don’t need to get up!
Hey! I’m actually hungry now! Listen to me!
No. I don’t want to.
WHY?
I just don’t.
MANDI. I AM STARVING. GET UP!
We’ve waited this long, we might as well just wait until dinner.
But it’ll be way too long by then!!
It’ll be ok. Just don’t think about it.
I AM SO HUNGRY. PLEASE.
Ugh. Fine. But don’t ask me to be quick about it.
I’M HUNGRY PLEASE FEED ME
There’s not even anything to eat over here. Shoot.
I’M TOO HUNGRY. YOU CAN’T COOK. YOU HAVE TO EAT NOW!!
Ok, ok, I hear you!!! Cereal for dinner it is. Calm down. I’m coming.
Hey… why are you scrolling right now?
Cause I’m bored. I can’t convince myself to do anything else.
Why don’t you pick up that book right there and read a little bit?
That would require moving from this spot, and I don’t feel like doing that.
Come on. If you just lean a liiiiiiiiiittle bit forward, I bet you could grab it…
Why move when I am perfectly fine just sitting still here?
But this is boring. This isn’t fun.
Oh well. I don’t care.
You feel so much better on days when you don’t scroll through Facebook. You know that…
Yeah well it’s too late now. I don’t feel like moving.
Come on, PLEASE don’t watch ANOTHER video!
You can’t stop me.
Mandi, at least if you watch something creative you might get inspired.
Ok. Man… I wish I was doing that… That looks like so much fun…
Get up! Do it! You have all the supplies right over there!
Nah… It’s fine. I’ll just keep watching her do it.
Don’t you want to do something else?? You have so much time in front of you!
Eh. Not really. That would mean having to get up.
You can do it!!! This is not rocket science!!!
Well I just don’t want to. Leave me alone!
GET THE F*** UP!!! You’ve been doing this ALL DAY LONG!!!
I don’t care, ok!?
Fine. You’re just making yourself miserable.
I don’t care. I’m not getting up.
Hey Mandi… Remember you have that paper due later…
Yeah, so?
So don’t you think you should start soon?
Yes, but I don’t want to.
If you just start, it’ll be much easier to finish it!
It’s too hard to start. I’d rather just sit here.
Come on. Just open up a word document. You can do that much.
Sigh… alright. Here.
Phew. At least we’re getting somewhere.
Hey. HEY! You’re not done, missy! Write something!
I don’t know what to write.
Well, just think about it for a second.
I don’t want to. I don’t have the energy to think about it.
Ok. Just read through the prompt again.
Sigh… fine. I read it. Happy?
Did you have any thoughts?
Not really.
Just start writing. Just write down something. ANYTHING.
Fine…
One sentence down. Great job. See, isn’t that such a relief? Only 380 words to go.
I’m tired of this. I’m gonna go to YouTube.
MANDI STOP!!! You have to get this done!!
I know but I just don’t WANT to!!
Just keep typing. Close all the other windows. That’s it…
This is just HARD ok?? I’m not writing anything good anyway…
It doesn’t have to be good, it just has to be done.
But I can’t just write down anything… it has to be right.
No it doesn’t. Not right now. Just word vomit it all out there!
Sigh… ok…
Deep breaths. That’s it. See, doesn’t it feel good to get something done? Even just a little bit?
I guess…
PHEW THANK GOD IT’S FINISHED
Yay. I’m gonna go take a nap now.
WAIT, BUT—-
The above are excerpts of conversations that go through my head daily.
For people struggling with depression, motivation and energy can be the largest obstacles.
Most days I feel like I am moving through molasses just to put clothes on.
I am a very “functional” person, but that’s saying nothing about the hours of frustration and yelling at myself that it took to complete even the simplest of tasks sometimes.
If you or someone you know is struggling today, please take a moment and tell yourself/them “good job.”
They put on clothes.
They stepped outside.
They walked to class.
They turned in an assignment.
Depending on the day, those actions could be equivalent to moving mountains… and the toughest part of it all is that few people understand and even fewer know what it took that day to get that step completed.
“It should be simple.” “It’s that easy.”
We know. We are acutely aware of how things SHOULD be.
The journey is to live with the paradox of that knowing, and the fact that things just AREN’T.
Give someone one of these silly “good job” stickers today (even in spirit), because to those of us who struggle with our mental health, the little things can be the very hardest.
And, in all honesty, don’t we all deserve a sticker sometimes?
“Be of good cheer. Do not think of today’s failures, but of the success that may come tomorrow. You have set yourselves a difficult task, but you will succeed if you persevere; and you will find a joy in overcoming obstacles. Remember, no effort that we make to attain something beautiful is ever lost.”
― Helen Keller